Why taking a News Holiday can build your Coping Fitness

coping Nov 29, 2017

I don’t know about you but I’ve grown weary of the 24-hour news cycle. It used to give me a rush but not anymore. I include all social media channels in the “news cycle” category, too, since they often bombard us with a lot of useless and distracting information.

Admittedly, my attention to the news cycle was heightened after the 2016 U.S. election. The stories that came out were so absurd and eye catching it was nearly impossible not to notice them.

But a year later, these stories have become almost soap opera-like, where I can skip a whole month of episodes and still know what’s going on.

In reality, the minutiae of the “top story”, of what’s fake and what isn’t, doesn’t really matter. It adds nothing worthwhile to my life and certainly doesn’t contribute to helping me support Ben.

The only thing it does is agitate me and instill a dose of fear. Too much of that negatively affects my mood – I’ve...

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Every Parent’s Kryptonite and What To Do About It

coping Nov 22, 2017

From the moment that Ben entered our lives 25 years ago, we have always felt a tinge of fear. By far, it is the number one issue we deal with on a regular basis … along with just about every family we’ve met who have been impacted by a disability.

It is the most common obstacle that holds people back and prevents them from living the life they dream of living, disability or not.

Fear has this knack for never really going away, simmering just below the surface.

It is every parent’s Kryptonite.

No matter how strong you think you are, fear will take you down. It has a way of surrounding you and waging war with your mind.

It will cloud your view of the world and control your thoughts and behaviour.

By its very nature, it is designed to paralyze, attacking your confidence, your competence, your self-worth, and your energy.

Some families have shared with us that their biggest fear is that they will fail their children in some way.

Somewhere along the line it...

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The Secret to Building Your Coping Fitness

coping Oct 26, 2017

Whenever any one of us get sick, we rely on our body’s immune system to combat whatever virus or bacteria we have contracted. Sometimes we need an extra boost, like an antibiotic, an anti-viral, or a flu shot, to complement our immune system so we can get better more easily.

A person’s physical fitness level also plays a big role in how well he/she can fight off the infection. But I’m sure you already know that.

When we are faced with adversity, such as the sudden loss of our job or learning that our child has a disability or health issues, our immune system really can’t help us much. Our physical fitness level can keep us moving but it is our emotional strength and coping mechanisms that allow us to combat this adversity and “get better”.

Your Coping Fitness

Put another way, our “coping fitness” determines how much stress, anxiety, and emotional trauma we can handle and how well we will recover. If it’s in good shape, we can...

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The Email I Would Have Written to Myself the Day Before Ben was Born

coping Jun 01, 2017

Somewhere over the last 20+ years, I lost the yearning to dream what life would be like had Ben been born without complex physical and communication challenges.

There was a period when I constantly wanted to press the rewind button to return to a simpler time, to before Ben was part of our world, so that I could understand what I had done so terribly wrong to deserve the burden of raising a child who required 24-hour care.

I am thankful those feelings have evaporated and that my singular focus now is to only move forward, to build on Ben’s successes and help him live a life of fulfillment and happiness.

Occasionally, I do wonder what better progress we could have made if we knew then what we know now. I imagine somehow going back to the day before Ben was born and secretly sending an email to the 29 year old I once was. It would look something like this:


From:               ...

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